Meditations on Hope

Curated thoughts on the nature of hope and why we will always need it.

in context: Faith, Hope and Love

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.” 1 Corinthians 13v13

What’s so special about faith, hope and love and why do they – of all things – remain? It’s intriguing. The surrounding chapters of 1 Corinthians partly answer this in talking about Completion. That when completion comes – when all is resolved at the end of days – faith, hope and love will still be there, even as other things have faded away.

Somehow faith, hope and love materially endure. There’s no sell-by date on them, no need to throw them out – they will always be valid, always be needed. So much so that they will be essential to the ‘completion of all things’ to come.

So faith, hope and love are not ephemeral ideas. They’re real things, that have substance and can be evidenced; for now and the age to come. So with that in mind, let’s consider the second of these three things. Hope.

Hope is an Anchor

Hope and anchors have a long association. I’m sure I’m not the first to have come across a pub called the ‘Hope and Anchor’ and the reason might well be this verse from the Bible.

Hebrews 6v19 says: “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”

What’s an anchor like? It’s really weighty – often being made of iron. It’s dropped into the sea, usually on a heavy metal chain or rope, attaching to the boat or ship. The anchor hooks onto the sea bed and stops the boat drifting, making it immovable. Ships without an anchor or anything else to fasten or moor them, are in trouble – if they can’t anchor they’ll drift. In choppy waters or storms especially they could come to harm, smashing up on rocks or against the cliffs. If a boat’s engine dies, or the wind suddenly drops there’s absolutely nothing to hold them fast, leaving the stranded.

And we ourselves have an anchor – which tethers the soul, attaching us to something rock-solid, immutable and immovable.

I’ve often felt God speak to me through ships. When I moved from Bristol – which is a maritime city with a harbour and docks – back to London, it was through ships that God confirmed that I needed to move. My old flatmates even got me a small piratey-style painting – drawn like a sailor’s tattoo which said ‘Homeward Bound’. This was true of our ultimate destination – heaven, as well as my home town of London! 

Hebrews 6:19 is one of my favourite verses in the Bible. I had it as the background on my old most-beloved MacBook Pro which I ended up having for 13 years! That’s 13 years of seeing that verse every time I opened my laptop – almost daily.

In this passage God is setting in stone the promise that he made to Abraham: “I will surely bless you and give you many descendants”. He had sworn an oath – swearing it by himself because there is no one higher – imagine that: “When God made his promise to Abraham, since there was no-one greater for him to swear by, he swore by himself, And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised…People swear by someone greater than themselves and the oath confirms what it said and puts an end to all argument. Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs [that’s us too] of what was promised…he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged.” Italics mine.

Hebrews 6 goes on to explain that: “[This hope] enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain where our forerunner Jesus has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever…” 

This hope is in Jesus. It is Jesus, who has accomplished all things, and ended the old covenant which required that people made atoning sacrifices for their sin. He became that himself, a once-for-all sacrifice — removing the curtain which separates us from the Holy of Holies where God. And so restoring our relationship with him. This hope anchors us fast, so that we won’t drift. Firm and secure – the confident expectation of eternal life and salvation in Jesus Christ.

I imagine standing just outside the Holy of Holies in the tabernacle, pulling that really heavy curtain aside, feeling the weight of it, never having seen what’s behind it – not knowing what to expect, but still pulling it aside with confidence to find Jesus standing right there and being welcomed in. And of course, when Jesus died on the cross we’re told in the gospels that this very same curtain was torn from top to bottom. Forever ending our separation from God. This cannot be undone.

So this hope is an anchor for our souls.

Song Inspiration – The Anchor by Crowder

Hope is Future-Oriented Faith

I find ‘Hope’ quite difficult to articulate – it’s a feeling but it’s more than a feeling. It’s a sense of wishful thinking but it’s more tangible than that. It’s optimism but that’s insufficient to describe it. It transcends circumstances and yet it’s entirely connected to them. It’s aspirational, it’s the life we dream of – that we long for. But it’s hard to quantify and understand.

A common dictionary definition is that hope is “a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen”. But as we’ve already seen Biblical hope by contrast is more than a feeling – it is actual confidence: it’s a sense of certainty that something good will happen.

It’s hard to know where faith ends and hope begins. I had to really do some digging as to why hope is mentioned independently of faith in 1 Corinthians 13:13. Because hope is really similar to faith, but it is distinct from it. A really helpful way to think about it is that, faith is like an umbrella term. It provides the broader context relating to our belief in God, our trust in the person of Jesus and the finished work of the cross; the faith that things exist, or happened or can happen.

While hope is part of this, incorporating many of the things that faith is, it is still separate from it. Uniquely, hope points towards the future. It is future-facing. You could think of it as future-oriented faith. While faith is substantial, hope is directional. And we’d be lost without either. So we can conclude from this, that if ‘these three remain’, future-facing faith (as in hope) is of particular importance to be named alongside the broader context of what faith is. And as part of our existential reality even in eternity, it is an important orientation and posture for us to live by.

Another way to put it is that ‘biblical hope is biblical faith in the future tense’.

Hope is in the Suffering

Hope is an unseen guide as we navigate uncertainty. When all seems lost, it is hope that intervenes; to be rewarded and fulfilled in the realisation of one’s dreams. Equally there will be parts of life where hope isn’t fulfilled – yet.

Proverbs 13:12 says: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life”. God wants to fulfil our hopes, dreams and desires. And if I have faith, that’s the substance of what I’m hoping for and those things yet unseen. It’s the evidence that they will happen.

Hebrews 11 opens with “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not yet seen.” More modern translations put it like this: “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.”

And in the midst of terrible suffering, illness, bereavement; or when people have been kidnapped, held hostage, or held prisoner they often talk afterwards of how important hope was to them. For those going through famine or war or any number of dreadful, painful circumstances; hope is all you have often to enable you to keep going. Hope enables us to bear suffering and to persevere through – for the promise of what’s on the other side. And when hope is lost – it’s catastrophic. 

We saw amazing scenes at the end of January on International Holocaust Remembrance Day. During the holocaust, hope literally helped to keep people alive. It enabled them to keep going and not give up. In his book, ‘Man’s Search for Meaning‘, psychiatrist and holocaust survivor Victor Frankl observed the necessity of hope during his time as a prisoner in several concentration camps during WW2. He remembers in one camp how much they were hoping – however naively it proved to be (he acknowledges), that they would be home for Christmas, and it would all be over. When it became apparent that this wasn’t the case at all, their hopes were dashed. And seeing no reason at all to continue in the horrendous conditions, all hope was gone. At that point many gave up and died.

Hope is a Choice

Hope is a choice. It can sustain life in the most desperate of circumstances. As Victor Frankl discovered, and one writer commented: “While every external factor may root against you, one single act of internal defiance can counteract it all.” Hope is an act of defiance. Even though it has no bearing on the outcome per se, it is a vital internal shift and an attitude which arms you against things that could otherwise destroy you through despair. 

Hope can even save you but it’s based on your disposition, not whether or when it is fulfilled. It could even be called a type of stubbornness. Making the decision to choose hope is powerful. 

While hope can literally mean the difference between life and death, it can also affect all sorts of outcomes – recovering from illness or injury, or from losing someone or something, like a job. Hope is dignifying. In Victor Frankl’s own words: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

And though hope is fragile, it is indomitable. There are many who cite hope as a reason they survived through the worst of circumstances. Even a whisper or a glimmer – if there is still the smallest flicker of hope, God will not extinguish it.

Isaiah 42:3 says: “A bruised reed he will not break, a smouldering wick he will not snuff out.”

Emblems of Hope

This poem by Emily Dickinson conveys the fragility of hope – likening it to a bird. 

Hope is the Thing with Feathers by Emily Dickinson

Hope is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all –
And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard –
And sore must be the storm –
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm –
I’ve heard it in the chillest land –
And on the strangest Sea –
Yet – never – in Extremity,
It asked a crumb – of me.

Birds are known to be symbols of hope: as they fly freely, survive the harshest of conditions and sing as the dawn arrives day by day they signal fresh possibilities, freedom and renewal.

In her book ‘I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings’, Maya Angelou tells the first part of her own story – of growing up in an abusive home, how she was raped at a very young age and how the trauma caused her to suffer from selective mutism. But also how she found her voice and sense of agency and freedom to become a recognised writer, speaker and poet. Through that sense of Hope she burst out of the ‘cage’ to find her own voice, liberating herself and inspiring others to do the same. Her poem ‘Caged Bird’ from which the novel takes its name also captures the sense of hope that even a bird in a cage can sing of freedom can inspire others.

Caged Bird by Maya Angelou

A free bird leaps
on the back of the wind   
and floats downstream   
till the current ends
and dips his wing
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his wings are clipped and   
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings   
with a fearful trill   
of things unknown   
but longed for still   
and his tune is heard   
on the distant hill   
for the caged bird   
sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn
|and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams   
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream   
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied   
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings   
with a fearful trill   
of things unknown   
but longed for still   
and his tune is heard   
on the distant hill   
for the caged bird   
sings of freedom.

Someone else who became an emblem of hope for others was Corrie Ten Boom, a watchmaker who lived in Haarlem in the Netherlands. When WWII broke out, and Germany invaded; as a Christian, she and her family took God’s word over the word of the occupying forces. They gathered stolen ration cards and hid Jews in their home. When an informant tipped off the Nazis about their work, their home was raided and the family was taken to prison.  

In prison they received word via the resistance that “all the watches in your cabinet are safe”. To their great relief, those they had been hiding had been transferred to other locations and were safe.

While imprisoned, she held worship services in the camp she and her family was held in, and shared from a Bible which had been smuggled in. Corrie Ten Boom writes about this experience in her book, ‘The Hiding Place’. She consistently spoke of the hope she had – sharing it with fellow prisoners and with numerous people through her subsequent writing and speaking after the war.

Song Inspiration – Oh Hope by Joshua Luke Smith

Hope is for the Unseen

Hope wouldn’t be hope if it we could see what we were hoping for. This is a really important aspect of what hope is. Hope is contingent on us not having what we are hoping for – yet. 

Romans 8v18-35 reveals the power of hope on a cosmic scale, Paul says: “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first-fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”

Hope itself is a state of anticipation. Still, it can’t be separated from waiting and expectation. It is tied to waiting, and waiting patiently for what is unseen. If you have hope you will wait patiently.

Hope in the Waiting

In the Bible there are several Hebrew words which are used to describe hope. The Bible project explains these:

Yakhal – to wait for (as Noah waited for the waters to recede to reveal land while he was in the Ark)
Qavar – describes a cord, or a sense of tension while you wait, followed by release.
Elpis – describes living hope – based on Jesus resurrection, we can be reborn.

In the Old Testament, the prophet Hosea chose hope – in a time when there was nothing to be optimistic about. Israel was being oppressed by foreign empires. Like Hosea, choosing hope is part of the prophetic voice that Christians can have in society. Remembering what God had done in the past, to bring his people out of Egypt during the Exodus, Hosea applied it to the future, saying: “God could turn this valley of trouble into a door of hope.” God’s past faithfulness motivated hope for the future. We look forward by looking back – trusting in nothing other than God’s character.

Similarly, Joseph was a man of hope. For him his faith in God, translated into hope for his future. Having been sold into slavery he never gave up hope through the ups and downs, and numerous mistreatments that he suffered. And when God raised him up to be in charge of Egypt, it also had a great purpose. He had so many false starts – possibly the worst was being forgotten in prison, leaving him there even longer until – when the timing was right God had need for him. Genesis is very clear that despite his misfortune: “the Lord was with Joseph”. So hope in the waiting is also recognising that while we may not understand any of what is happening, and why, it is serving a greater purpose. Joseph saved his family, and by extrapolation, the twelves tribes of Israel.

Waiting is exhausting, both physically and emotionally. But this difference with hoping in God is that it renews our strength. And gives us supernatural strength too. It’s counterintuitive. The paradox is, as Isaiah 40: 31 says that as we hope, as we wait: “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Hope is in the Planning

Jeremiah 29v11: “I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope [a better life] and a future”.

A plan is a method or strategy for achieving a goal. And here Jeremiah is reassuring Israel that there a plans for a hope and a future. That hope as a tangible thing, is premeditated. It’s planned. The ball is already rolling even if nothing appears to be happening. God has a plan. Think about your last holiday – what plans did you make, to make that holiday a reality? Plans are evidence of a future reality. When you see an architects drawings, a blueprint or a business plan – that’s evidence of the future existence of the thing that you’re creating. It’s like an inheritance. There’s intention. Hope can be imagined, and imagined. 

So while it’s fullest realisation exists in the future, it also exists now as the things God has planned. God has planned our future with him. In Jesus death and resurrection – our ultimate hope was planned – it had to be. It wasn’t an accident, or an afterthought that is trying to fix a botched job. It was planned. So if you hope for something, if you have faith for it you can take is as evidence of those things: “now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen”.

My Hope is in You

Throughout the Psalms there is a refrain: “My hope is in God” and a phrase which urges: “Put your hope in God”. The Psalms talk a lot about hope. And it’s often hope in God. David often encourages himself and others to “put your hope in God” It is for God himself that they are waiting.

Verses of hope from the Psalms

“May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you.” Psalms 33:22

“My integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, Lord, is in you.” Psalm 25:21

“But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you”. Psalm 39:7

“Be strong and take heart, al you who hope in the Lord”. Psalm 31:24

“For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth”. Psalm 71:5

“As for me, I shall alway have hope; I will praise you more and more”. Psalm 71:14

“Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my saviour, and my hope is in you all day long”. Psalm 25:5

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God”. Psalm 43:5

“Blessed are those whose help is in the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord their God”. Psalm 146:3

Living Hope

And so we find that Biblical hope is based on a person. It’s different from optimism, and positive thinking. It’s not focused on circumstances and not based on things getting better.

This brings us to Living Hope –  that hope is indeed built on a person, the person of Jesus.

1 Peter 1:3 says: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead”.

The Resurrection is central to our sense of hope as Christians. The risen Jesus is our ultimate hope through his death on the cross and his resurrection from the dead.

At the end of the day biblical hope, that which remains is established on the finished, settled work of Jesus Christ.

Song Inspiration – Living Hope by Phil Wickham

And Hope Does not Disappoint

Romans 5:4 – “we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame [does not disappoint us], because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Jesus himself suffered on the cross because of hope: “for the joy set before him [he] endured the cross”. Have you ever imagined that Jesus was a man full of hope? Hope enabled him to endure the worst suffering on the cross. In order to become hope itself – for us.

Song Inspiration – Cornerstone by Hillsong Worship

© Alexandra Noel – All Rights Reserved. February 2025

My Google Up-skilling Story

as shared with AllBright’s Reignite Programme

I first shared my up-skilling story at an online ‘INSPIRE’ event for the 50 learners on the 2023 Google x AllBright Reignite programme (where I was later to become Course Mentor). The group was working their way through the same Digital Marketing and E-Commerce Google professional certificate that I had completed in late 2022.

At the event I spoke with Ella Vize, then Head of Academy at AllBright. This article captures what I shared.

Tell us about yourself and your up-skilling journey.

My professional background is within creative, marketing and project management; working for corporates, charities, and with entrepreneurs and creative founders. I’d been part of companies’ marketing functions before – both in client services and managing creative teams – so after a career hiatus and lots of soul-searching I had decided that I wanted to go back into marketing. This seemed like a good route without having to completely start again. But this time I wanted to be a practitioner. Once I’d made my decision and started taking action, one thing after another opened up.

Woman plans her route on a climbing wall.

You had a break in your career prior to undertaking the Google certificate course, can you tell us a bit about your personal experience and career break.

My career break wasn’t exactly by choice. I didn’t decide to go travelling or anything like that. ‘Life’ happened. In mid-2021, just as it seemed we were coming out of the Pandemic, with things opening up and life getting back to normal: both my parents caught Covid. My mum wasn’t as bad but my dad became very very ill. There were multiple complications which meant he had five separate periods in hospital. At the time he was also my Mum’s main helper as she had struggled increasingly with her mobility over the preceding few years. It was definitely a crisis: I shelved any plans I had for my career and turned to looking after my parents. In the end it took about a year for them to get back on track and rehabilitate which I was closely involved in. Now they have a good set up and are doing well.

I realised afterwards that these kind of experiences aren’t divorced from our professional lives. Whether it’s caring for our elderly parents, raising children, or navigating personal challenges; we’re made, as people, ‘in the trenches’ of daily life. It forms character, it forms the ability to fully take responsibility and it forms leadership. Even that phrase we have: ‘taking time out of work to…. [fill in the blank]’ is an inaccuracy. We are far more integrated than that. So the experience you gain in your ‘off’ seasons contributes to your ‘on’ seasons in terms of professional work, and vice versa. It’s all experience – work is work, whether it’s professional (and paid), or not.

How did you come to find the Google certificate course? 

I first came across Google Professional Certificates at a jobs fair. At first glance it looked great but I wasn’t sure there was anything for me specifically. After making my decision to return to marketing I looked again at the courses on offer and to my amazement they’d added Digital Marketing and E-Commerce. It was a no-brainer – exactly what I was looking for at the right time. I had the chance to revisit first principles and to up-skill in things I’d never done before. The Google Professional Certificate in Digital Marketing and E-Commerce enabled me to do both – I completed the course in November 2022.

During the course I learnt so much. The self-paced format meant I could fit it around my schedule and do more whenever I had the chance. I was hungry to get on with it. I was learning a huge amount and reinforcing some really important professional foundations. There were parts where I had more innate knowledge and ability, and parts that were completely new. There were things I loved and breezed through, and areas that were more challenging. Ironically mastering the more difficult sections has served me particularly well. For example the metrics and analytics module was the most intense to get through but now I have it I use this almost on a daily basis and it’s really enjoyable.

I loved hearing the stories of Google professionals – I was so encouraged by the different paths they had taken. So many career trajectories are non-linear and it was both fascinating and encouraging for me to realise that many of those featured, who had found their way into Digital Marketing had done so via a really unusual and interesting route. No one story was typical. I also really enjoyed the energy and encouragement of the trainers. In addition to what I was learning and practising, at that point in my life I really needed a ‘Hype Man’ or ‘Hype Woman’ and they certainly delivered. I started to feel more excited about the future and about the possibilities this would create. It has helped me rebuild my career and get my confidence back.

Indoor female climber decides which route to take similar to upskilling or making a career change.

What has your career journey been like pre and post completing your Google certificate course? 

Before upskilling I was definitely faltering a bit in my career. Even before the Pandemic (which was something in itself to navigate) I’d already lost a bit of direction. I’d had some big successes but I’d also had some major professional setbacks. And I’d tried a couple of avenues since which weren’t getting any ‘traction’. So my confidence had been battered. I was burnt out and beginning to wonder if this was it?

Also, I still hadn’t found a way to reconcile the two different parts of my skillset – being analytical on the one hand and creative on the other. Most of all I needed to acknowledge my creative side which I’d mostly put on the back burner in favour of more ‘sensible’ jobs. The Pandemic presented the opportunity to explore my creativity. And up-skilling in digital marketing has brought everything together. It has united my analytical and creative skillsets which has been one of the biggest game changers.

The course has been integral to my career journey since. I quickly got on with setting up a freelance business which has been a great way to test out my new-found skills. I designed my own website – which has opened up opportunities to do it for other people. I launched as a freelance Digital Marketer and Writer at the beginning of 2023. I started earning immediately; I found clients through my network and have continued working and gaining further experience. It’s been great to have this set of skills which enable me to help solve people’s problems. I’ve had some really interesting clients and projects and been able to incorporate other skills such as my coaching, project management and consultancy. Nothing is wasted.

Has completing the course boosted your confidence in your career and or skills & knowledge?

Yes. It absolutely has. I’ve gained a really holistic sense of confidence. It’s a confidence in my skills and knowledge which only continues to grow the more I do the work. It’s a confidence in my ability to learn and bounce back – there’s a proven sense of resilience there.

A game changer for me was adopting a growth mindset. Rather than feeling stuck I began seeking out more learning opportunities. I realised that one of the most important abilities I had was the ability to learn. This makes me excited for the future and how my career would develop from here – never stop learning.

I also began to shake off some of the negative messaging I’d taken on from the experiences and setbacks I’d had. Rather than believing I was a failure – I was able to reframe this: perhaps things had failed for good reason, and I could use them as a signpost towards new opportunities. I was able to repurpose negative feedback I’d received in a way that meant I could determine what I took on board: only accepting things that would actually be helpful for my growth, and leaving the rest.

Along the way too I learnt that it was important for me not to give myself away and rely on others for validation and approval. Instead I needed this from myself, and from people I really trusted – who I knew had my back. It felt like an important shift in terms of how I built a sense of confidence. I’ve gained a great deal of self-belief and self-confidence in being able to navigate challenging situations, find a way through and come out the other side. I now know I can trust myself to handle whatever comes my way.

© Alexandra Noel – All rights reserved. February 2024

A New Approach to Feedback

The Creative Act: A Way of Being – written by music producer Rick Rubin – is not only beautifully designed but a unique and enlightening perspective on creativity.

Image courtesy of Penguin Press

It was also great to listen to Rick being interviewed on Jay Shetty’s On Purpose podcast. I found it inspiring stuff (also providing me with some useful thoughts for a content strategy I’m working on for a client). During their far-ranging conversation I was really pleased to be reminded of one of the best approaches to FEEDBACK I’ve ever heard.

Enabling you to “play Big”

I first came across this approach reading Tara Mohr‘s brilliant book Playing Big a few years ago. (I love these connections). The advice she gives, which Rick Rubin echoes, is this:

“Feedback doesn’t tell you about yourself. It tells you about the person giving the feedback. In other words, if someone says your work is gorgeous, that just tells you about *their* taste. If you put out a new product and it doesn’t sell at all, that tells you something about what your audience does and doesn’t want. When we look at praise and criticism as information about the people giving it, we tend to get really curious about the feedback, rather than dejected or defensive”.

Tara Mohr

Reframing Feedback

Reframing the purpose of feedback in this way makes ALL the difference. Tara offers further advice (see below) on navigating feedback in this article and in her book.

“1.  REFRAME the feedback:
 The feedback doesn’t tell you any facts about you; it tells you something about the perspective of the person giving the feedback. Reframe the feedback as information about them. What does this tell you about their priorities or preferences?

2.  Is the feedback truly RELEVANT? Women forget to ask this, and instead feel they have to incorporate all feedback. We need to ask: is this feedback essential to incorporate in order to achieve my goals? Those goals might include professional ones (like getting work published) or personal ones (like a loving relationship with family members.) If the feedback is not truly relevant to your aims, you have permission to not attend to it.

3.  REVISE your approach. If your answer to #2 is yes, then you can think about how you can revise your approach to work with/relate to this person more effectively, now that you know more about their needs and perspective. Going back to #1, the feedback isn’t a verdict on how you measure up – it just tells you how to be more impactful in your relationship with them.”

Photo by Annau00eblle Quionquion on Pexels.com

Allowing IT to Serve You

Ultimately feedback needs to serve you. So by getting curious about the person giving the feedback, and taking on board the aspects of their feedback that best serve you, you’re less likely to invest so much weight in their opinions. Effectively you ‘unhook’ from the power that either their praise or criticism might have, and you’re able to determine how best to utilise it.

© Alexandra Noel – All Rights Reserved 2023